That slap against my cheek
The fist against my nose
The foot against my hip
My back
My waist
My forehead
Tell me
How can you open your mouth
To say you love me
To say you are thankful
To say you are sorry
When you did it again
Yesterday
Last Week
Last Month
Last year
And the year before
And in 2006
What about tomorrow
What will you say?
Will you push me against the wall
Off the bed
Out of the car
And I in panic
Curl up on the cold hard ceramic
Close my eyes
And lift my hands to my head
And
Scream out to my children
Call Rumbidzai
Tell her to come
Tell her to come to me
Tell her to come and get me out
Out of your anger in a small green bottle
Out of your vicious words
Out of your evil and painful grip
Of my pain
In the taste of salty tears and blood in my mouth
And its smell in my nose
And in the eerie ringing in my ears
Out of my commitment to you
To honour you
To respect you
To love you
How can I
With a broken soul and nose
With so much anger
No it cannot be love
It can only be fear
Fear enough to call you Daddy
Fear enough to panic when you are quiet
Fear enough to be flustered at your silence
Fear of touching you
And of knowing that I have to
Stand up and tell the world that I know what it is
To be in fear
And not be able to remember
Exactly what it is
That made me
Walk straight into your life
